"Sheltering Girl," 2020. Acrylic, tissue paper, mulberry paper, sheet music, modeling paste, ink, and glue on canvas, 24"x36". Inspired by "Field of Sunflowers" by Christine Sarjan Cohen, 1996. |
Today I'm sharing one of the pieces I made last year that, after beginning with a slow burn, very quickly burst into a fire of
inspiration. In March 2020 I shared a bunch of progress photos of this piece, with my thoughts on fear and Covid-19. I promised an update on this piece and this post has been chilling in my blog drafts for waaaay too long. Wait no more, my friends!
For a long time, every time I chatted
with my work friend, LT, I found myself studying this old art print hanging in
her office. It was probably hanging there for at least a decade, long before that office became hers. It didn’t belong to her and she didn’t care for it, she just never
bothered to take it down.
The more I
looked at that faded old print, the more I felt it—the dreamlike intertwining of flowers
and rabbits, the feeling of a windy spring day, the watercolor-softness...
One day another coworker brought in some
colorful abstract paintings to brighten things up in the office. As we talked about the art,
I glanced over at the flowers and bunnies on Lt’s wall and asked if I could
take it for a collage. She was all for it.
I lifted the 24”x36” poster frame from
the wall and felt a rushing spring wind in my hands—this would finally
become the collage I’d had slowly building in my mind for months.
Less than a week later, on the Monday after the Super Bowl, I was at
work again and the full image came to
me—the sunflowers and bunnies, the rushing wind, and my personal favorite
touch—Silhouette Girl. The rest of that morning I brainstormed poses for
Silhouette Girl, envisioned the size of the canvas, and made mental
lists of the media I’d use in this collage… paint, pen and ink, different kinds
of paper, maybe even oil pastels… I’d been looking for the right piece to bring Silhouette
Girl into a collage, but it never quite felt right… This one felt exactly
right. During my lunch break I rushed off to buy a big ol' canvas.
Detail from my collage, showing my tiny rabbits at the bottom of the painting. On a collage this big, these little guys are just an inch or so tall! |
Between Slonem’s colorful rabbits and the
dreamy rabbits racing through the Cohen print, I guess I had
rabbits on my mind. I don’t have any strong feelings for rabbits; I don’t love
them and I don’t hate them. I had a couple of pet rabbits as a child, but I’ve
always preferred horses and dogs. However, I do love what rabbits commonly
represent: peace and innocence.
I had been working on a writing project
(more on that later!) focusing on the value and delicacy of innocence. I've long felt like the media and internet are constantly inundating me with calls to
fight, to clapback, to rant and rage, to post snarky comments and retweet angry
woke threads. I feel as if society wants me to be prickly and harsh and
cleverly destructive.
I don't like that.
In Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Nietzsche writes, "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster." That quote often comes to my mind. It's impossible to make the world a better place through nastiness, rage, and destruction. You'll just become a part of the very thing you were against.
Don’t get me wrong—I have a temper! I get
angry, I rant and rage. Just ask my parents! But after a childhood of fighting tooth and nail when I
didn’t like something, I eventually learned that outward-facing anger isn’t all
it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes quiet anger is better. Sometimes—maybe most
times—it’s better to channel anger into kindness.
My friend Hannah sent me this screengrab of a tumblr post a
while back which said being kind is an act of rebellion, of subverting the
prevailing culture… being kind is punk.
As a fan of punk-rock and emo
music, I loved this idea a lot. I loved it so much I still think about it several years later. I loved it so much I made a cross-stitch that reads
“kindness is punk,” in fierce red and white thread on black cloth.
I think the most important lesson I’ve
learned in my 26 years of life is that you can be both strong and gentle, angry
and kind, powerful and peaceful, furious and hopeful. This is the message I’m
trying to shape myself around, and the theme I’ve tried to cultivate throughout
my work, especially with Silhouette Girl. Which brings me back to the Cohen print and the collage...
Of course, I couldn’t help thinking of
innocence when I looked at Slonem’s colorful bunnies in that gallery. They're cute little colorful rabbits, after all.
]It felt so natural to take these thoughts of peace and kindness, embrace the rabbits in the Cohen print and the Slonem bunnies I'd so enjoyed at the gallery, and then place my Silhouette Girl in the middle of everything. Silhouette Girl is
our reigning champion of innocence and peace, after all!
This was taken after gluing down the first few couple layers of paper. Recognize the pieces I cut from the art print? |
When I had a basic plan, I set to work with my
scissors! For the main flowers and rabbits I followed the existing lines of
petals and stems and bodies, but I went a little more loosely with the abstract
bits, cutting along changes in color or vague lines to create irregular pieces.
Continuing to build up layers of paint and paper... |
As a kid I used to be obsessed with jigsaw
puzzles. Not to brag, but I’m still really good at them, I just don’t have the time anymore.
Instead of piecing together the edges first, I’ve always liked to work in
sections by color and pattern.
Arranging a collage is a lot like piecing
together a puzzle, but instead of a box lid with the picture, I figure out in my
mind what I hope to end up with.
Hope is the key word there—there’s no guarantee
that the final artwork will look how I planned! The way the materials interact
with one another and with the glue, the varying opaqueness of different
materials, and how the precise arrangements come together always affect the
result.
By the end, what I’ve made is usually pretty different from what I’d envisioned, but I’m almost always happier with
the actual result. If I’m not, it just means the piece isn’t finished.
In this collage, I definitely wanted to
broaden the values found in Field of Sunflowers. I’m a fan of high-contrast
images; scenes with dark shadows and bright lights. Field of Sunflowers is soft
and contains mostly light and medium values. I want my work to better reflect
life, with its deep shadows accentuating wonderful highlights.
Almost done... |
The result after my first session of work
was a rather chaotic and disjointed beginning. I was eager to bring in more
paper, some paint, and other materials to start turning this into a cohesive
image that looked like it all belonged together! I love that about collage—the
process of taking all these separate pieces and combining them into one
beautiful image.
My final challenge was figuring out what Silhouette Girl would be doing.
In keeping with the accessibility of the tactile flowers, I also wanted a nod to my beloved Deaf community. I considered different signs she could be making... protect, peace, hope, kindness...
The brainstorm Post-its I made while at work... |
So I painted Silhouette Girl signing "shelter" above her head, loud and proud, defending the innocent bunnies at her feet from the big, turbulent, bad world around them.
Maybe I was also a bit inspired by the shelter-in-place orders beginning to take effect around the world, as Covid-19 swept through and totally altered life as we know it. We all wished for some sort of shelter safe from the virus, the chaos, and the uncertainty. A shelter fully stocked with toilet paper, of course. A shelter from the social and political unrest, the police brutality, the misinformation and selfishness.
The final collage is hanging on the wall by my dining table. It was the first piece I hung in my apartment. I want this collage, with its themes of kindness, innocence, and shelter from the world's brutality, accessible and welcoming to all, to set the tone for my daily life. Of course I mess up... I'm often unkind, brusque, or unwelcoming. I yell at other drivers and get annoyed with my siblings and get impatient with my husband. But this collage has become my prayer and my goal. I hope it becomes your goal, as well.
-Cailey
I love bunnies. I love shelter. Thanks for posting. This helps me believe that I am not alone in needing kindness and peace in the middle of a storm.
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely not alone in that! Thanks for reading, and I hope you continue to find peace and encouragement through these times!
DeleteI'm so happy to see that Silhouette Girl is alive and well! Thank you for describing your process and how each part contributed to the final product. I look forward to seeing this collage with its layers, colors and textures!
ReplyDeleteThank you! No worries, Silhouette Girl will still be around for a long time. I sometimes wonder if describing the process is a little too much, so I'm glad you enjoyed that!
ReplyDelete